i do wonder at times the irony of judgements. judgement is something so infinite that storms up reactions that is based on oneself, maybe to an unduly opinionist, they worry that they might have to lose a stand in their own territory and beliefs, which may sometime triggers or intimidates the other party, that may turn judgements into a replusive work of attitude and as for the more flamboyant or the contented minds, acquiesce contacts and flourishes communications in newly found acquaintances, graciously. these are the examples of superb interactions and mannered behaviour. judgement is very crucial. as so are the first impressions.
maybe a suit and a tie might work, or an elegant cocktail dress. a smile brimming with anxiety? or perhaps give those soultry eyes a try? life is so full of unexpectations that at any point of time a friend can be a foe. if i were given a choice either to be stuck in room full of spiders, or a room to mingle my ass off with people, i'd rather mingle with spiders, maybe discuss the philosophy of spider webs, over some chardonnay. people intimidates me more than anything. i worry. worry about the good first impressions and certain judgements. and this always leads to the usuals, like sweaty palms, paranoia, the fearful stares that always give the impression of arrogance which im totally unaware of. is it just insecurites? lack of confidence maybe. who knows underneath those slightly perfect posture lies all the insecurities in the world.
*confidence is key; yeah just keep telling myself that.
we're living in a very materialistic world, full of souls, trying to race to the top. some have tools, some just have greatness in them. the way i see it, every indiviual who try, have a certain something that is waiting to be unleashed and discovered. maybe its talent, but its more of passion. i do feel very pressured trying to prove to people, but more importantly to myself that i can do it, with determination and truckload of hardwork. it simplifies to this. but it ain't that simple once your on your way. phew. if only mao zedong is alive still, we might have live in a communist world and life maybe hard, but more fair. but a fact to face, life is never fair and will never be.
i need some sugar. =/
Shot at 2007-07-10
maybe this will help take the load off. http://www.popsugar.com/