the gypsies are always right

Less than two bloody weeks the school gate will be open.
So i have to list down the things to do before another wave of project hit me
and I am certainly getting my body clock back on track.

The list includes:

Rollerblading.
A night to let loose.
A visit to Labrador Park.
Submit two of my works.
A visit to the beach.
Sort out my room.
Bla, bla, bla.

I am such a boring person.
and boredom led to books.
I don't usually rant about books, but this book is highly addictive.
Maybe slightly better than Da Vinci Code.
I'm only half way through! Heh.
I hope the movie will be better.

Thanks Penny.

Labels: Dome of misfits, random

An interlude.

Two different worlds.
Collided.
Only one felt the shake.

The performance was brief.

It was a shock that it ended at such.

They didn't know whether to applause after the gasp or to wait for more.

So they waited.

They didn't realised that the real play had already begun.

The debris was left untouched.

Untitled

Like a sponge.
It absorbs.
Sometimes everything.
But mostly filth.

I do not understand this.

Hello world!

I've learnt to be more intact with myself and no one should matter but me.

Life is selfish that way but that is how we grow.
I am all for growth.

All Smiles.

There is no I in threesome.

Merry Christmas.

Christmas morning, I've had an enlightenment.

Now, it is all about choosing the right way.

Or have the guts to even go there.

All in the mind.

I have an addiction.

It is not something that i can smoke, get high or be high with.
It is not something that i can touch, play or stroke.
And definitely not something i can dance, sing with or to.

It is something deadly, but it doesn't involve drugs of any sort.
It is like a venom, but it stings only in the head.
It hurts more than razor blades but yet i craveeee for more.

It is so addictive.
An addiction harder to get rid of.
Harder than the cigarette addiction i kicked many months ago,

even though i started since i was fifteen.

For all i know, it is here to stay for a long, long time.
And signs are telling me that we're reciprocating.

It begins with me.

I am tired.

Tired of always trying to please others.

I am tired.

Tired of trying too hard.

I am tired.

Tired of being feisty over little things.

I am tired.

Tired of feeling afraid to be judged.

I am tired.

Tired of this constant deception.

I am tired.

Tired of all the lies.

I am tired.

Tired to live a lie.

I am tired.

Tired of this facade.

I am tired.

Tired of trying to read in between the lines.

I am tired.

Tired of these feelings.

I am tired.

Tired of guarding your feelings.

I am tired.

Tired of trying to figure yourself out.

I am tired.

So tired.

Tired of trying to figure myself out.

Labels: Realm of doubts.

I hate the world today.

Have you ever felt nothing else matters anymore.
Your world just changed with a blink of an eye.
How much you have build through these time crashing down on you.
The will power inside of you disappear into the oblivion.
No reason for you to move on.
Everything is at still.
Every little detail that linger, matters.
Every movement being watched.
Can't find a way to gather your thoughts.
A flush of emotions going through your body.
The sight of your hands shivering.
The helpless beings surrounding you, suddenly turned quiet.
Total breakdown....
Insanity break loose.
Losing self control.
Losing your mind.

I've always hope for it.
But when it really happened,
I've learnt that it is all not real.
A huge selfish deception.
There's always two side of a story.
But you have to lean on one, eventually.
It all painted a clearer picture.
How it was done.
The realm of doubt is clearing up.
The truth of it all.
The judgement one has to make.

I am not finish.

Zesty.

A friend baked me a cookie with my name on it.

If only life is like the gingerbreadman's.

Always smiling.

The Hierarchy.

Super trouper beams are gonna blind me
But I wont feel blue
Like I always do
Cause somewhere in the crowd theres you

So who's the paranoid one?
Me or your boyfriend?

The swine has snorted.

I've yet to discover and fully understand the nature of my behaviour.

Why the surge of jealousy and the high chances of over reacting.

I feel like i have an antenna as high as the Eiffel tower that i pick up redundant things.

I am constantly on the look out for whatever reason that i do not know.

This paranoia has its pros and cons.

The good part is that i am able to foresee the hidden agendas of one

but the downside is that it leads to an obsession that drives the people around me

and especially myself, crazy.

Where do i lay my (middle) finger on?
What causes this so called issue that i have?
Maybe i could say that i'm just having my guard up.
I have the progenitor to blame. No?
Maybe they're as close as i think.
Maybe it is just me.
Maybe the logic of it all, builds up throughout these years,
when i was in a streak of constant deception and swindled upon.
On top of it all, you made it to the list of swines.

I do not understand the fact that even when the persona was described to me as,
disdainful and haughty, you still adhere closely.
Contradiction much?

Why on earth do i have these feelings?
I hate these unknown attractions.
This is unfair.

Labels: Like hello, Look at the angsty one

Going green, the bad way.

The word envy is commonly uttered when ego gets in the way of the jealous heart.

In my world that is.

It was mediocre. I mean come on. Seriously.
It got me thinking. I may say myself, i am (partially) an atheist.
I do have my doubts about unicorns or god's existence for this matter.
But judging by the holy Sundays and his somewhat prejudice approach towards homosexuality,
my only guess, he is a devotee to god.

Maybe the idea of atheism is too overrated.
Maybe there is a god.
What else could be the reason for his excellence even though through my eyes,
it is all shouting mediocrity?

Whatever it is, i need to get it too. Only better.

Maybe it all started from the choice you made between a fork and a pair of chopsticks.

Labels: Dome of misfits, Quote of the day

yesterday's news.

I am very irritable.
Firstly because i am reminded of all the negative things again.
It pains me to be reminded again and again of hypocrites.
How unfair the world is and the fact that nothing much could be done about it.
It is such a fucking annoyance that everything is still at what it is now,
even by the mere fact that it has been proven specifically.

The rights and wrongs.
BULLSHIT! You're just fucking weak!

Slips and papers reminds me of nothing.
Zero. Progression that mounts up to disappointment.
If only i could turn back time.
This is another turmoil.

Oh fuckery, fuckery.

Labels: Look at the angsty one

They call me Stacie!

I am filled with extreme excitement.

Two fucking words, Ting Tings.

Like how my fellow classmate ranted over and over again about motley crue,

or mouldy crew i would like to call them,

(am i right sasha fierce? hahaha)

now i will rant about my likings.

The Ting tings.

I heard their music when i was watching MTV reverb, like way back. It is a ridiculous 30 minute bit on MTV where they showcase alternative music and i started to like their music ever since. Okay, this is such a redundant note. Go listen to them.

So therefore it is not such a huge surprise that i am excited to watch them in concert.

Oh Sharmila, i called you Sasha Fierce with the intentions of rubbing in Beyonce's new album in your face, titled, I am Sasha fierce (i know right, what a name) and please watch THIS to get the inspiration to fucking let loose of the old crap you're hearing.

Remember, every insult comes with 5% of love.

You know you're fab. Sort of.

Hahaha! Don't kill me please.

Labels: happy pills

Juveniles are meant to be eaten.

I was in my room with the lights off, facing the computer.
I was trying to conserve energy and slow down global warming by not turning on the lights.
Being in the dark, i didn't realised that my young cousin entered my room.
Suddenly he was standing beside me, staring at the computer,
and then his attention gazed on me.

He asked me '' do you have friends ? ''
I asked him '' do you think i have friends ? ''
He bluntly answered '' no. ''

and he left the room leaving me with alot of racing thoughts.

Why would he say that?
I blame it on the atmosphere of the room.
It was dark, gloomy, quiet kind of feel.
Yes it was the lights.

Kids are so mean!
I have friends!
Right?

Friends?
Pals?
Buddies?
Acquaintances?
Anybody?!

PS: On the lights when kids are around.

Labels: Like hello

The last lap.

This is the last lap towards a brand new year.
So i decided to blog on the 1st of December,
to make it seems like an official lap.
2008 lucky year? Not really.
Recession can be the bottom line of the year 2008.
Its coming to an end of a treacherous year, for me.
A year filled with mostly the worse of things.
Moments which i thought couldn't get any worse, but it did.

On the bright side, it made me realised alot of things.
Things that i should only do once and shall never be repeated.
Personally, i feel that i have accomplished alot through all these hurdles.
Its just a matter of handling it well.
Also I've learnt to treasure the people who matters around me.
I love all of you.

I am so looking forward to Christmas.
Its time to let loose and drown the impurities away.
I can hear the Christmas jingle because sadly it is stuck in my head.
*Rudolph the red nose reindeer...had a very shiny nose*

Anyway, lost in the midst in the cloud of negativity,
i failed to see what matters most.
How the people i care about are feeling and going through right now.
Bigger issues being faced and have to completely make a life changing decision,
and draw the lines once and for all.
I feel selfish for not even giving it a thought about it.
I wish her well and the very best.

I like beautiful mornings.
A good cup of coffee and a freshly printed newspaper.
So much of negativity going around.
What caught my attention was the event of the first Singaporean hostage that got killed.
Its amazing how much words and a particular image can express a surge of strong emotions.
My condolences goes out to them.

And let me finish by quoting what Barack Obama had said ''Change has come''.
In 2009 that is. Let's make it a resolution.