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we google for the fun of it.
if in 20 years of your life you'd thought that you can never do wrong.
and once its breached, you thought it had to change.
and by that you mean the federals and what they believe in.
well honey, you thought wrong.
this will eat in you.
in days, weeks, months, years to come.
my, oh my. hahaha.
life isn't always a picnic under the stars.
the river runs dry too you know,
and the fishes swim in all directions.
they have to, fyi.
oh queer, you faked it like you owned it.
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nobody says. nobody.
I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
And tell me you love me,
come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing tails
Coming back as we are
Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start
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snap words, snap quotes.
oh im attached.     love was in the air, sort of.
technically for a few hours.
i was so psyched about photography,
even when the weather was a killer.
it was fun,fun.
all credited to miss loh huiyi,
just helping out with her project.
  i shot this gigantic spider, and apparently it sets me thinking. i overcame my fear of spiders for awhile, for the sake of photography. hmmm. i want to get a fucking dslr. like pronto.
 isn't she beautiful.
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hey there, paranoia.
that feeling is back again.
the one that makes me feel isolated from various worlds.
the one that makes me tingle.
the one that makes me lurk.
the one that intrigues curiosity.
the one that speculates trouble.
the one that spells jaded.
the one that tears me solely.
i was deluded.
maybe i was blinded.
maybe it was all me.
all me.....
i should not,
i shall not,
i will not.
but i want to.
so, so badly...
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of milestones and obstacles.
sometimes i tend to think of possibilities.
possibilities of the future.
the vagueness of things,
which tarot cards might sometimes tell.
whats in store?
its like when we open up a fridge,
what goodies mum bought.
mostly cold junks.
i have to admit, it intimidates me.
how will my journey end.
how does it begin.
oh, it already did?
but what actually had been written for me.
i wonder.
life is like a mould.
the mould we try to turn into timeless sculpture.
we mold it with little tools.
often tools like our tongue,
we lie.
but life isn't only based on that.
isn't it?
we are the prototypes of the future.
we will be reinvent.
to something clueless.
its a vicious cycle.
maybe painting a picture might help.
frida kahlo amazed millions.
and made billions.
but she failed to amuse herself.
cause grieve weighs a tonne.
the irony of life.
its fascinating.
the society has their own sets of eyes.
like children,
they are often attracted to pretty things.
like colours,
a perky nose,
or jacked up bosoms.
its nature.
facades are facades.
there's a reason why the male peacock,
have such lavish feathers.
everyone, everything are judged.
so why stop now?
maybe the society says so.
maybe its true that good guys finish last.
i know its true that no one serves a cheese platter straight up.
get a cow,
touch its nipples,
milk it,
turn milk into cheese,
cut it into cubes,
poke it with toothpicks.
in another words,
work hard.
or fight for it.
but in a good way.
like how ghandi did.
let's travel through time shall we?
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skinnies.
i am hell skinny.
fuck those mosquitoes with their fucken illnesses.
my thighs are as thin as my arms.
my cheekbones looks like amy winehouse's on crack.
my skinnies are loose as hell.
i can feel the breeze while i walk in between my buttcrack.
why do sick humans, loses weight.
cause whatever we ate tasted like colgate.
life is a bitch.
i need meat. bread. meat and more bread.
burger.
im stuffing myself with macdonalds.
and long johns.
and kfc.
and chocolates.
i hope i turn fat.
arghhhhhh.
school is killing me too.
i just wanna whine.
and club soon.
i just missed my chance.
shit.
plastic is the in thing now.
i need a fucking shrink. and.. now where the fuck are you.
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i misplaced something, somewhere.
is it true that the pessimistic tends to hang out in a bunch,
rant about life and its despair
and be sad and sorry about their lives
but not going to do anything about it.
i think i'm one of them.
but where's my sad circle.
maybe its already there just that we drown our sorrows with
alcohol, nice clothes and other people's misery.
i am in this sudden mood to swim, cycle, blade,
drink by the beach.
i miss a lot of people.
people i knew from when i was a child.
secondary school days.
working days.
people i knew from people.
they're there.
busy with lives.
so it feels like
they're all gone.
they were fun.
maybe the thoughts of getting back to school after a week's rest,
is the reason.
i want to be sick again.
so that i don't have to be in school.
my work's piling up.
oh god.
i hate to do this catching up shit.
if only life is a real track.
talking about tracks, i need to get back on it.
i miss running.
my head is in the clouds now.
this dream.
its lowering.
getting back to reality.
slowly.
i have been neglecting so many things.
argh.
can i just not face them.
i just want to be in this spot that i like.
life sucks, balls.
Mabel rocks.
she plans everything.
movie marathon.
food, beer, be lazy.
looking forward.
its a nice feeling going to the 7-eleven late at night.
with the breeze.
what?
what's with me.        
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