I am dead tired.
but still clicking on this machine that has another dimension in it.
it keeps me awake and excites me.
oh i think that's just the coffee.



I've been very, very worried about my health this few weeks.
searching for clues online of what i might be suffering from.
symptoms that i feel could be fatal.



i think being that i am a virgorian, we tend to get paranoid over tiny little things.
we're perfectionist, as you can see from me, for sure.
we are bugged by health, surroundings,

eg. when someone i know doesn't smile,
i would immediately think that he/she hates me.
which most of the time are true.



for now, my whole being as a person is put on toll.
i am afraid that i might have diabetes, kidney failure, blah blah blah.
sucks being me.

let me console myself.

I hope this is just another phase of my pathetic ritual i have now and then.

just to please my perfect-O-meter.

It always strike me if i were to die, how would others react..
would they cry?

(duh)
would i be a wandering spirit unhappy with life,feeling unsatisfied about everything?

(yes, I'm only 19 still for god sake)
would life would be harder without me, lonely, quiet?

(YES YES YES)



oh i glanced at my watch and realise that its already July.
My birthday gonna be up soon. FUCK!!!!
I'm so gonna get sabotaged this year.. BADLY.
I'm semi-prepared for the amount of flour going to be in my hair and in my pants.



i think I'm heading to bed and dream about the time when i was younger,
when bubble wrap and styrofoam were the best thing in the world!

it created my snow wonderland.

But in every fairytale, there's always that skank.
There was this certain girl with the pledge of evil.
She plays the mean fat bitch,

i mean witch.

She'd trash the snow wonderland where ice skating,

snow angels,
fat penguins,

thin snowman

made of styrofoams,
were made real.

I miss childhood.

DAMN YOU FAT PERSON!